It is possible that your parents are products of inattentive living. Fear, anger, shame, coldness, and blame are the nutrients they were fed and were the same ingredients passed onto you. But you can relieve this transmission and turn it into something else offering a different recipe to your children and grandchildren.
To do so requires practice. You must develop the discipline to hold the cocktail of thought and emotion that runs through your head like a waterfall day in and day out.
Each day, even if it’s only for a minute or two, step into the depression of that waterfall and go beyond your thinking. When you step behind the flowing water of thoughts and feelings, you give yourself a chance to see, touch, taste, hear and experience the water without being crushed and overwhelmed by its weight.
Over time, this is how fear, anger, shame, coldness, and blame turn into peace, reconciliation, forgiveness, and joy.